ROARS OF MOWERS, etc

everyone is busy busy busy. busy little spring bees. the roars of mowers surround me on a daily basis, like enormous bumble bees, locusts, wasps, all of the above.

[C]2012 DOUG DUFFEY

CRY THE BELOVED COUNTRY:"STOP THE INSANITY!"

This rant has nothing to do with the novel/film 'Cry the Beloved Country', or Susan Powter's diet & exercise plan & catchphrase; although i combined them for this post [a stream of semi consciousness rant] which is about PRESERVATION

"Progress is our most important product" was General Electric's motto, back in the day, spouted weekly by Ronald Ray-gun, on their General Electric Theater. It has always stuck in my mind, as has "Industry on Parade" and DuPont's  "Better Things for Better Living...Through Chemistry." which eventually got bastardized to "Better Living Through Chemistry"- 3 catch phrases- brain washings- tv propaganda- of my childhood. "Progress is our most important product" is NOT my motto. I am appalled at the destruction that has been and is created in the name of 'progress'...

While driving home today, west on LA Highway 80, through the lush deep emerald spring Louisiana "green-ness", the allee of forests and ancient symmetrically planted pecan orchards, on both sides of the highway, i would see an abandoned house here, or building there that nature had almost reclaimed. i also saw where someone had chopped out a chunk of those pecan orchards to make way for progress, or their house. I wondered how long it would be before someone bulldozed MORE of the old sacred pecan groves to either put up a McMansion, or some other god awful eyesore. mankind [oxymoron] keeps spreading like a cancer, eating into, polluting and killing nature.

old growth pecan orchard

 

the drive from Monroe to Rayville or on to Tallulah, Mound or Delta on Hwy 80 [at this time of year] is a religious experience; those pecan groves are like cathedrals. i remember them as far back as i CAN remember. i kept stopping the car to get out and make photos of them, and things i KNOW will not be here much longer- which, i think at times IS my 'raison d'être... to preserve the memory of what i can, while i can, in photographs

this little house was so sweet- and looks like it could be renovated; there are beautiful old time roses and or morning glories or both, flourishing [not seen in photo]

this little house was also salvageable- could be a great space

I was also thinking of all the photographers of the FSA, during 1935–44 [Walker Evans, Russell Lee, Gordon Parks, Dorothea Lange, Marion Post Wolcott] who went across America photographing the horrors of the great depression- especially in the destitute rural deep south [which, in some places, has NOT changed all that much!] and how those images have stuck in my head forever; influencing my own work. i have, for as long as i can remember, been attracted to, if not obsessed with photographing old home places, shotgun houses, hand painted signs, folk art type things: rusted and falling down barns and abandoned buildings, junk stores,etc. old wood, brick and rust excite me: and in Louisiana [and the deep south] rust rot abandonment and decay are everywhere... but not forever

Having been working between Louisiana and Europe for the last 20 years, it really makes me crazy when i see how we have, since the 60s, abandoned our historical down town areas [except for major cities and a very FEW small towns] in lieu of malls, strip malls, suburbia, etc. Europe has preserved it's city centers; even rebuilt them, after wars. we have let ours fall into ruin until they resemble war zones. We'd rather go level a forest and build a gated community, than put the work and money into renovating our 'former' communities. everybody wants isolation, privacy, more space. i remember when downtown Monroe was thriving; every building had a business in it; people were actually there in droves ALL THE TIME. The decline ruin and eventual loss of our down town [and especially the Paramount Theater] is a real shame. But in this new depression, i doubt seriously that salvaging /rebuilding whats left is on anyone's mind. its not cost effective.

"Roosevelt believed that the severity of the Depression was due to excessive business competition that lowered wages and prices, which he believed lowered demand and employment. He argued that government economic planning was necessary to remedy this:

...A mere builder of more industrial plants, a creator of more railroad systems, an organizer of more corporations, is as likely to be a danger as a help. Our task is not ... necessarily producing more goods. It is the soberer, less dramatic business of administering resources and plants already in hand."

 Below: Rayville, Louisiana

Rhymes Memorial Library

 

Joy Theater- which SHOULD be renovated

downtown/railroad tracks

I wish i had shot the Rayville Police Station today- it is a very cool old building- as are a lot of the old ones left standing. Will go back with the big guns, the real film cameras, and get it soon. Back in the day, when the passenger trains ran through them, those were thriving towns. IF we had AmTrak connected from Jackson, Ms to Marshall Tx, they ALL could be again. Hello? The Interstates and WalMart have killed small town America.

Drove and stopped, pulled over, and made fotos over and over again- although i have done so, so many times. it is always a different experience, and always, i find something new. like the hand painted church sign below. i also glimpsed a rusted bridge, but couldn't stop/park to get out and shoot it. will do so when going east, next time.

highway 80

Jones Chapel LC

U.S. Shoe Repair- Hwy 80. i have shot this with various cameras many times.

 

pecanland- obviously not the mall, y'all

  

a former stone fountain- or what?- possibly an old well, or spring?-by the side of the road. what IS it's story?

i noticed some things were missing; places i had photographed a few years back. Gone. Driving to Columbia several years ago, i was angered that the new worthless 4 lane had destroyed Riverton- the old store that had been there forever, which i had seen since childhood was gone. Same thing happened the last time i was in Tallulah, two whole blocks of stuff gone. there is an OLD antique galleria type mall facing Hwy 80.There are cool art deco stone facades around the roof; you can see through to the other end of the block- there once were stores in there. of course the whole downtown, or most of it, is abandoned. the old Coca Cola bottling building is a treasure.

From Wikipedia:

"Tallulah was the first city in the United States to have an indoor shopping mall. A businessman built Bloom's Arcade in 1925, in the style of European arcades. It was one hall with stores on either side much like the ones today. The hall opened into the street on both ends. This landmark is still in Tallulah on U.S. Route 80, although no longer in use. "

i was obviously born in the wrong era, despite the fact that i love modern technology; or should i say electronics/devices. i like the look and feel of old things: i love antiques; i still love [and use] 'old school' cameras and film, manual typewriters, and 'real' fountain pens; family quilts; vintage china; quality things that are of value to me. things that were well made, and meant to last a lifetime; things that have a wonderful look and feel to them. AND now i find they are making retro push lawn mowers [no gas or electronic- nada] like they had 100 years ago- which is considered "green" - but let's face it, its mainly about gas prices. BUT... i plan to get one; and a solar panel & generator for the riding mower [lol]... i wish. if they can put them in calculators, why not in every damned thing... like laptops & cameras? oh yes... we MUST consume fossil fuels.

i'm not really sure if some of the high school students who saw my photo exhibit today 'got' what it was really about; they have seen a lot of the images in real life, all their lives. it IS about Louisiana [w/3 Mississippi photos thrown in- both my grandmothers were from Mississippi] - it is about images of places and things here in Louisiana- and the Delta- that have already or will vanish in our lifetimes- the many vanishing images of our history and of our culture- along with some monuments that will continue to stand: like the Saint Louis Cathedral [which i shot when i was 13], the Evangeline Statue in St. Martinville [which i shot many decades later]

With this year marking the 200th anniversary of Louisiana becoming a state [when, before the signing of the Louisiana purchase on April 30, 1803 we were about 1/3 of the whole country!- thank you Napoleon & Jefferson] - i thought exhibiting various images i had captured from around the state was in order. [its also the 2nd anniversary of the BP oil spill, which gave a whole different meaning to the "Shrimp & Petroleum Festival'] i have so many more from all over the state, the south, the world. but i had to made a choice and chose to focus on primarily this region- and new orleans where i lived many years.

One girl called me over and asked me what was the meaning of a hand painted sign of religious ranting [shot in Tallulah] which i titled "The Sabbath Year" - i told her i had "no idea"- that "i took it because i found it interesting"- and added "it is no longer there." and told her the rest of the story [in the next paragraph]

THE SABBATH YEAR

Whats equally as 'interesting' is that this was at an old gas/service station, which was at the time, i believe a tire repair place. Outside, in front of the big glass picture window, which all old 'service' stations had, the man had placed a BIG sofa; above it was a clothes line. Hanging on the clothes line, held on with clothes pins, were sheets and sheets of lined spiral notebook paper, covered with prophesies, scripture and religious rantings... and yes, i did make photos! thank de lawd. This kind of folk art fascinates me; i live for it! i get a rush of excitement when i come up on something and discover it for the 1st time.

Just as Mardi Gras and Halloween and Star/Sky People [Ancient ancestors] are an influence and huge part of my drawings and paintings; so are the acts of creating new images from others, in my collage work; the kind of 'deep south' funk and eccentricity -which is often overlooked- is a major part of what i love to capture as a photographer [although it is not my only genre, by any means] here: the beautiful, and the not so beautiful; the humorous and the sad. i've always found Louisiana to be tragically beautiful; beautiful with an underlying sadness, mystery and magic about it; overflowing with a lot of everyday things we might not notice, or scarcely notice, that we would see nowhere else; things that we have become too accustomed to, which surround us; the perishing, the fading, the slowly disappearing...

Progress is NOT our most important product... unless we can progress without destroying to do so. My motto is "Renovate! Don't desecrate or annihilate! Re-purpose, Re-cycle and Re-create!" ... and keep making them crazy signs and stuff... 

[C]2012 DOUG DUFFEY

ON THE CUSP OF SPRING

the view of my pond and woods- looking west- but no sun today

i did not want to get up today; looks grey & dismal, outside- after a sunny, warmish but coolish, yesterday. But Barbra was meowing, demanding her breakfast [at noon]- [Domina has the class to sleep until i wake/get up] & i needed coffee, if i was indeed going to "get up, get on up"... so put on the kettle for my vintage 'drip pot' which i filled with coffee & chicory, and came to my laptop to move photos off phones, cameras etc. 

as soon as it warms/greens up a bit, i will be doing a road trip with my film cameras, video cameras, & tripods, oh my... but i don't have the energy or focus at the moment. it is still "inside project" weather, and i have collages calling to me to be finished & more to be done; same with drawings, & most important, music to be edited and released, asap. i'm over run with and overwhelmed by the amount of material i have created 2011-2012, as well as all the earlier stuff [2008-2010] - and have got to get a bead on it, and begin working toward mixing, archiving, editing, releasing.

i spent the 1st week @ home adjusting to uber alles changes from switzerland back to louisiana; acclimatizing myself: dealing with jet lag, change of climate, humidity, etc. also the change of being 'away' from everything here [so many memories] and now being back in it/them all. i had depression [especially with all the rain every damned day!] about being back; remembering all the loved ones [both immediate family and very close friends] i have lost in 2011 [into 2012] especially my precious Mother and Father. It's hard; but hopefully spring will bring with it renewal; not just of nature, but also of my spirit.

i was totally in hermit mode, but, due to chores i had to tend to in town [and lack of supplies] i eventually forced myself out of the house. once out, it wasn't so bad [other than getting drenched at sam's] and once it warms up a bit, i will STAY outside, working in the yards; doing my ritual spring garden, as therapy; communing with the spirit. 

i look out toward my pond/woods and see one lone volunteer narcissus... and a red bird pecking by it; little birds flitting all over the yards/field, foraging... and plants shocked into believing it is spring. my plum trees in bloom, the daffodils, narcissus, iris etc in my yard flowering- up in huge clumps [which i want to separate and spread throughout the yard asap] 

 

my mustard greens & some herbs survived the winter [such as it was/is] and i see the beginnings of baby lettuce. i plan to plant everything in semi shade this year- since it will most likely be hotter than last year, which was brutal; anything in full sun, fried.  

looking south, behind my yard, at the region between my yard and the magic forest

all in all, its good to be home, as i slowly adjust and settle back into the lazy southern rhythm. Switzerland was wonderful; as always; and i plan to add fotos and notes in my 'travelology' blog & post to FB, as well; i'll also be posting some videos and or audio from our concerts. but, as the old saying goes, "there's no place like home" [the song, or judy, take your pick] 

Doyle came to visit one day, and i went to visit my 'molto caro' Italian family [the Marsala's]; had dinner with my sister & brother in law yesterday; after stopping by and visiting with my friend Desha; it was very good to see her father and mother, as well.

their yard is incredible; Desha's going to give me sprigs of camellias to try and root since i killed my grandmothers.  just after i bought my grandmother's [the Duffey family] home place & land, i accidentally killed all the vintage camellias, azaleas, roses, in the yard by OVER fertilizing them; i had no idea, and killed damned near every thing in the yard. live and learn. i was sick about it. killed an ancient old white rose bush; and the camellia by the front porch which had been there as long as i could remember. and i remember! after that i started 'layering' /cloning plants to spread around the yard. the birds also help with some of them.

the best thing about about gardening is it is calming, therapeutic, healing; instructive, and it teaches patience; not to mentions its a damned good physical workout. it's not really THAT cold today; work could be done, but alas... just as i wrote that, thousands of blackbirds landed outside this window in the back yard

4 and 20 hundred [if not thousand] blackbirds- now this would make a pie!

took some shots around the 'property' today with my phone/retro and pogo apps. forgot to shoot the plum trees in bloom... but i have time...

one of my new prized possessions- a gift from yvette- which i have to find a place for. would love it on my dining room wall, but the house would cave in. it weighs a ton! i LOVE rust

a view to my woods, from mid north side of my house

a plethora of jonquils/daffodils/narcissus- given to me years ago by Jan Webb- they are multiplying and like all the clumps need to be separated and spread around the yard

my st. francis, who stands over the grave of my baby kitty

clumps to be separated- also baby hyacinths there

king alfred daffodils

partial southern view of my front yard

angel of the cacti

more bulbs under the walnut tree, which is a no no; not supposed to plant bulbs under walnut trees due to toxicity, but these seem ok

little headless cupid under the peach tree

[C]2012 DOUG DUFFEY

[C]2012 DOUG DUFFEY

A DAY AT THE MUSEUM- BERN

 

[C]2012 DOUG DUFFEY

[C]2012 DOUG DUFFEY

diaries, death, mourning, coping

i have not been blogging, lately- have not even been doing much Facebooking, either- have mostly been writing in my Moleskine journal which i bought in Dresden in august- [my paper fetish led me to them, and now i am hooked]- with my fave pen. Oddly enough, i began again this year [after mostly just typing 'diaries' on my laptop] to regularly write my journals; something I've done since the 70s, but have only been doing when traveling for the past decade.

the internet was spotty at best in zermatt, the 6 days we were there; same thing at Uetliberg [which meant no Magic Jack] - my Android phone worked, but i was not about to poke around on the phone w/my stylus to do emails or spend a fortune on long distance. 

i had every intention of working on [editing] a lot of the music i have done, and took new Bose speakers & new Sony headphones and did nothing. Nor did any collages or drawings, but ended up reading more of Ned Rorem's diaries, and writing in my own; when i wasn't sleeping all day into night, going to the gig, then going back to bed. high altitude & thin dry air only makes me tired. plus more bad news did not help.

Today: it's early morning- grey and cold- coffee & ciggies- staring blankly at the snow on the Jura, smoke floating from chimneys- out my boudoir window. i'm back in 'happy shiny people' zombie prozac mode, after going off it for a few weeks, cold turkey, [before during & after zermatt] and consequently, going off the rails. 

i was tired of not feeling- feeling but not REALLY feeling- not being able to process fully what i felt i should have, how i should have. As everyone who knows me knows, i was hit hard all of 2011 by loss, which has continued into 2012, with more family members and very close friends passing. i feel like i have been [as the hospice people said i would feel, after Mama died] "living in suspended animation for at least a year"; After the withdrawals & side effects of going off the prozac, i decided i would be better to continue in suspended animation until i can see my doctor and get weaned off, slowly. 

so many people have been so kind, considerate, and sent condolences and sympathy/empathy; and i really appreciate it. others act as if i should be 'over it' by now, and getting on with my life as if nothing has happened; get back to normal; [i don't even know what normal is anymore; nothing is normal anymore] and some have actually said "well, i didn't think you would take it that hard" - it hasn't even been a year since my father died [January 27] or my precious mama [April 14] =losing those two people who loved me unconditionally for all of my 61 years is not something easily gotten over; not to mention all the other family members and friends [who were like family to me] who have recently passed. it has changed me for life; i don't think i will ever be 'my old self' again- and am not sure who the new self will eventually be.

During Mama's illness i kept busy making collages; doing them in the living room on the couch/coffee table, while she watched tv. i HAD to stay busy; that was a way to be with her and try to take my mind off the reality. she always complained that i stayed "on that damned computer"- so, voila. After she passed i could do nothing. i was totally non functional for months. 

when i came to switzerland in august for a short tour, i at first channeled my grief into solo improvisational piano music - finding words to painful to cope with. normally doing anywhere from 5 to 10 pieces daily, for weeks. when i came over i began that - and experimenting with my old synth and Mac- multitracking and doing some solo stuff- i continued in Monroe, waking, writing and recording daily; and then again when i came back here in December 2011, which i have continued to do until last week. 

i slowly began to process, through lyrics, some of my feelings; starting with going out on the terrace w/my Hermes baby typewriter- typing up pages of  thoughts into lyrics then immediately going to the 'garage studio' and putting the music to them. writing/recording two songs "living again" and "the same thing" in august; i wrote one or two more in monroe; then more when i returned here- and now have enough material to release as a cd [although i plan to only make my music available as digital downloads] called "the mourning season" 

it was/has been cathartic and somewhat healing for me; as i hope it will be, for others. i still need to mix and fix- and master, etc- but it brought me back around to 'song writing' as it should be for me; not some made up bullshit to try and be hawked to some imaginary audience or market; but real feelings and emotions- from real experiences- created with NO preconceived thoughts of money or commerce; but only about 'the work'- which i plan to continue. if people like it, fine; if not, fine. the solo piano sessions and synth stuff will be waded through and edited when time permits; maybe vocals added to some. je ne sais pas. 

i have moved on to collage again, as a means of 'staying busy' and focusing on something other than emotional issues. [after my derailment]- it's amazing how many hours i can spend 'lost in space' working on one piece. reminds me of foto darkroom work, when i used to do it, i'd be printing photos then walk out to find it was daylight, and i'd spent the whole night with chemicals, film and paper, oh my. like coke in the 70s.

the 8.5" x 11" collages are easily scanned, which i like; the 18" x 12" not so, although i prefer the larger format. so i need to find a large bed scanner somewhere, as i think i am not going to sell my original collages anymore, preferring to sell them as photomontage [prints] 

My days here are growing short. i have not even begun to pack all the crap i brought with me, nor the things i have acquired while here. good thing i am a Medallion member and can haul 2 big suitcases back, for free; Delta baggage handlers have destroyed one of my suitcases- ripped both handles off- so for revenge I'll use it, just to torture them. payback IS a bitch. already dreading the TSA nightmare from hell called Atlanta. as Wayne says "I'd rather drink bleach" than have to go through there. 

The last band concert of this tour is January 21st at Mahogany Hall in Bern- and my pre birthday party. i love to perform there; its like my 'home club' in Switzerland. We always have a great audience- and it has a great grand piano, stage, acoustics, sound system & the molto fabuloso sound engineer & my old friend Martin Ritchards- and wonderful staff. after that, i have one private show on the 28th, then, its back to Louisiana to for a few months of 'hermit/monk' life: to work on myself, my music, art, photography; plant my gardens, be with my babies [my 4 cats] - deal with a lot of stuff i couldn't cope/deal with last year; and hopefully, as everyone says they will, things WILL get better...  and this is where i insert [hello, carl]  "always look on the bright side of life"

[C]2012 DOUG DUFFEY