AUGUST is almost half way through - which is a blessing. Even though the past few days have been pleasant enough to be outside, i haven't been; but then, i haven't been outside, very often, for the past two years. i will not repeat all the reasons here; people probably assume i have Munchausen syndrome, as is.
As always, i look forward to fall, which is my favorite time of year. there is something magical about the light- and a different kind of cool than spring. in summer i seldom if ever turn on the stove, except to light a cigarette when i cant find my lighter. i keep all windows and doors and shades blinds curtains closed. i live like Dracula, waking late, going to bed late. But that also goes with my line of work, which i have done for 45+ years. fall- spring i am forever baking home made bread, muffins, etc. cooking soups. enjoying living in flannels and thermals 24x7 and snuggling in my flannel sheets. et voila. i have repeated these things in many older posts.
fall is like dying, winter like death, spring like rebirth. i am looking forward to my rebirth.
my muses left me. they will return. they come and go. they sometimes work me non stop for weeks on end- then vacate the premises, leaving me exhausted, to renew/refill my energies, then come back with a vengeance. in the past months [since the robbery in february] i have not touched my piano, i have made no music. i haven't even edited any past works in the 'archive'. and even though i did many [hundreds] of line, or marker drawings, many mornings, they rest in chests of drawers. the plans of doing large watercolours and works on canvases did not happen. i'd planned to do them outside, but the heat became unbearable. nor did developing about 30 rolls of film, which i had planned to do. everything was to be done in summer, when i would be inside. everything has been postponed. delayed.
not to be maudlin, but in the past few years i have seriously questioned everything! questioned everything from life to death to heaven and hell, GOD and the devil, and the age old question: what is the meaning of life? what is our purpose? after 2 years of self imposed exile, much introspection, prayer, meditation, and therapy i STILL don't know THE ANSWER. but i believe being in, and living in, "THE NOW"... and "following your bliss" as Joseph Campbell preached [doing what you LOVE to do; doing what you have a PASSION to do]
[C]2013 DOUG DUFFEY
