I slept late- between flannel sheets, which I love. I always put them on the bed as soon as the weather gets cool. Bought a great black set at macy’s, w/6 matching pillow cases [as I always sleep with at least 6 pillows], in New Orleans in the late 80s which are tucked away in a vintage leather covered samsonite suitcase in my house. I recently bought a new dark blue set at wally world- but could not get extra pillow cases to match, so guess I’ll order some; or just go buy another complete set. I can never have too many. Am using my ½ linen ½ cotton vintage big button down pillowcases from Switzerland for another 2. i bought a ton of vintage 1/2 linen 1/2 cotton sheets & pillowcases there years ago- filled all suitcases & left my clothes. very good move.
I was in dreamland, between worlds, in a semi astral coma, and could have stayed there but:
Barbra, the cross eyed cat named after Streisand, who always sleeps by my leg, woke me, wanting food. So I got up & fed, let all 3 out to eat [and spend the day outside] then went back to bed. I keep them in at night due to wild animals; which attack, and have possibly killed, several of my other cats.
But too many thoughts were going through my head, so I got up, moved slowly- had coffee, cigs & began reading through one of my 1991 New Orleans & European spiral notebooks [of which i have trunks full] which I’d brought here [my late Mama’s house] to look through/scan months ago. At 1st I was going to read the new Vanity Fair, but this notebook was lying by it, and I thought “I wonder what I was thinking then?” better choice
I’ve kept spiral notebooks, and various other kinds, since the 1960s- jotting down poems, lyrics, ideas, philosophy, thoughts, dreams, collages, things to do, drawings, interesting things I hear about & want to investigate etc. have been planning to scan ALL my trunks full of papers/writings/ and even transferring a lot of stuff that is on floppies to dvd archives; maybe even make books of some of the stuff on blurb. [I need to retire and do this full time- anyone know of a grant for that?]
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| stuttgart/leinfelden DE 19.2.93 - 1 collage |
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| stuttgart/leinfelden DE 19.2.1993- 2 collage |
But I keep thinking my music on cassette and older media is more important to get to 1st before they deteriorate. I have bought about 5 different Fostex 4 track cassette recorders off eBay- which all seem to crap out sooner or later- have had them repaired several times, but am thinking I will load them ALL in the car & take them to a guy in Hot Springs, who does a lot of electronics work for a friend, and have them repair & clean them all. I NEED these machines. But, I digress…
So, I ran across some lyrics and went ‘wow’- a lot are just fragments, but many are finished. In this particular notebook [91-93] I also see the complete deterioration of my handwriting [a lot of the texts look like dead sea scrolls] due to the onset of carpel tunnel syndrome- from banging piano on Bourbon Street 4 hours every day for years- and my constant scribbling. Thank you BJ for making me go have the surgery –in Brussels @ Hopital De Main [hospital for the hands- where many famous musicians and artists have their surgeries] –and thank you Dr LeDoux- I think its time to ‘doux it again’ – as I see the same signs. alors
So, i want to finally write music to [and possibly edit] a lot of the best lyrics from a lot of these old notebooks. A lot of the lyrics have just been ignored; and many have been too personal/or painful to touch for many years. in the 60s I would normally sit at the piano and write the music and lyrics together; in the 70s I would type pages of lyrics and then do the music; in the 80s, w/the discovery of 4 track cassette, I would do the tracks 1st then write the lyrics OR sing one line, then ‘punch in’ the next and the next etc. vocally ‘writing’ on tape; same thing with my computer tracks, although almost none of them have vocals yet! And there are hundreds of tracks/beds.
Only on this last trip to Switzerland did I sit and type two pages of lyrics [outside, on my vintage Hermes typewriter]– 2 songs- then went to the computer/synth and began singing a line and playing the music along with it; then recording the track KNOWING what melody line/words was/were going to go over it; the songwriting process changed- almost as if back to the 7os style. So, I think this will be the technique I use with these older lyrics.
It seems odd to me that because there are so many lyrics in the notebooks written in Europe, that I have not written ANY songs about Europe; but have been living there about ½ the year ever since 1991. Even though I have written lyrics about being there and things I experienced there, and have written lyrics in French & German, I never used them because I felt people would feel I was being either ‘precious’ or pretentious in doing so. Very stupid, on my part, as Europe has been as much a part of my life, if not moreso, as Louisiana has, since 1991. I traveled/lived all over the USA from my late teens…
I have also developed this phobia, mania, obsession about ‘keeping it real’ – keeping everything organic- which really makes no sense. REAL is relative. The lyrics I wrote in the 1960s until now were/are REAL; as was/is the music from then until now. A lot of the solo piano work written & recorded in Europe [2008-2011] could be the match for some of these lyrics; as could some of the tracks I did this trip, and in the past.
I’ve been ‘making tracks’ in Acid ever since 1998 or so when a free Acid 1 cd came with a printer. Since then I have been working in Acid as I once did with 4 track Cassette recorders- and doing the same kinds of music with both: the writers ‘tapes’; the demos; which are really the original creative process; the 1st recording process; I am now beginning to realize ARE the ‘REAL’- that those original recordings ARE the organic- whether recorded on an acoustic grand, or a crappy synth- using an old obsolete drum machine on 4 track cassette, or a ‘real drum’ sample in Acid and XP. I loved Mark Matsuki’s analogy concerning using samples & loops [because I said I don’t like using pre-fab loops that everyone can/does use]: “they are only an alphabet” - case closed. Danke, Herr Matsuki.
I have driven myself crazy for years- not releasing home recordings because I felt that possibly they were not ‘the best mix’ or the best studio sounding quality- or any number of unreasonable reasons- I have mentioned this more than once. I am not now, nor have I ever been an UBER audiophile/technofile when it comes to music. 48 years of loud assed rock & roll has not been great for the ears. I can certainly tell when things are off or out of tune or if this or that is too loud in the mix- and it either sounds good or it doesn’t; the lyrics are either intelligent or stupid. I’m a producer [on my stuff] not an engineer [Well, I am that, too]- aber,machts nicht – if & when I do a mix I’ll listen to it on a boom box, my monitors, and in the car and if it sounds good enough, to me, to share with the world- then… voila. Mais, deja parle I always 2nd guess myself way too much. I should always just go with my original gut feeling.
So… in going back through this 1 of many notebooks, this morning, it brought back a lot of memories- of people, places, situations, music- a lot of my old life. It made me melancholy, made me miss my houses/apartments/days/lives in New Orleans & my early adventures & discoveries of Europe*- when I 1st went over- a babe in the woods stepping into a brave new world; or old world, as the case may be. A stranger in a strange land. Now it* just seems like home. Still exciting and still many things to see and discover; and always inspirational; but it* feels like home just like Louisiana does.
My home here- the old family home which my grandfather built in 1922 or so- feels like my home did in New Orleans; just because it is filled with all the things I had there and moved here, when I left NO; things that would mean nothing to, or hold any value for, anyone but me; strange little objects i found on the streets, precious little mementos, artwork, reminders, etc. I’ve also dragged back SO much stuff from Europe –mostly art books, rugs, china, art, etc. but it does have that same N.O. vibe.
I plan to move back into my home soon; have been here at my Mama’s years before and since she recently ‘passed’; too many sad memories here, now; but also very hard to leave; as if I would be abandoning her/her memory. I feel cut adrift and afloat, without an anchor. My work is the only glue that holds me together; that and my knowledge of our reciprocated unconditional love & support for 61 years.
The sun is close to setting. I have not moved from this machine or position all my waking day [didn’t get up till 2PM!] – have not opened the curtains- or been outside- have had one pot of coffee & just made another @ 4:40PM! There is so much I need to attend to- faire le commission- etc. and with the weather being so beautiful I should be slaving in the yard- BUT, I don’t want to do a damned thing.
I have been, during the course of this rant, FINALLY having my favorite original solo cd [the solo sessions: cabaret vieux carre] manufactured [designing online] for cdbaby- and sales at concerts as I only had home made copies online, before. So, I’ve been multi tasking and feel I have also accomplished something constructive … while ranting
Now to get dressed & get out into the world before dark; then come home and peruse this one [and maybe even more] notebook for hidden treasures; then think about 'beginning'...
[C]2011 DOUG DUFFEY
