Thursday June 14, 2018 6:25PM
If I may be so open… and I can be, of course… I woke, and due to yet another something ‘going north’, after morning rituals [morning prayers, coffee, meds, etc] I sat at my computer, just staring, thinking about “everything” that’s been going down, and tears came to, but didn’t pass, my eyes. The death of the air conditioner was the last straw, on top of all the other ‘breaks’ and losses. Then for some unknown reason, I put on Aretha’s 1979 album, Amazing Grace, and went directly to “God Will Take Care Of You” and feeling the spirit move inside me, the previous stinging tears, turned to tears of joy… because I know it’s true.
I sat a while, and began writing lyrics about that, and my situation [again] - and past situations- letting the album play. That album has always spoken to me, since it was released. As Marianne Faithfull once said of Aretha’s voice , [her’s is] “the voice of God”; and when she sings gospel, you FEEL the spirit moving through her. It often brings tears to my eyes.
When she sings “Precious Memories” I always think of my family, especially my late brother because a [non Aretha] version was played at his funeral. Her version touches me as no other has, can, or will. But, I didn’t listen to that, today; instead I played her cover of the old Clara Ward song “How I got Over” and indeed, “my soul look[s] back and wonder[s] how I got over” ; followed by Climbing Higher Mountains, “I'm climbing higher mountains trying to get home”... Amen. The road does “get a little rocky”...
When i run into old friends, whom I’ve come up with, or have known for decades, or longer, we marvel that we have made it thus far, through everything, when so many of our loved ones didn’t, and haven't. [Tommy Miller, then Kenny Bill & I were discussing that just recently] Never in my life did I think I would live this long; especially when so many of my closest friends, from the 60s onward, didn’t. The recent and no so recent deaths of so many of my musical brothers has really hit me. I mourn not only them, but their spirit, their soul, which shone through their music. I am blessed to have been their friend, and to have worked with them. Lord knows I did enough in my past life, to kill anybody. I was obviously given not only good genes and a strong constitution, but some sort of a purpose to still be here. I often question that purpose… but as I wrote in “Living the Blues”, “I just keep on going, that’s all i know how to do…”
I sat a while, and began writing lyrics about that, and my situation [again] - and past situations- letting the album play. That album has always spoken to me, since it was released. As Marianne Faithfull once said of Aretha’s voice , [her’s is] “the voice of God”; and when she sings gospel, you FEEL the spirit moving through her. It often brings tears to my eyes.
When she sings “Precious Memories” I always think of my family, especially my late brother because a [non Aretha] version was played at his funeral. Her version touches me as no other has, can, or will. But, I didn’t listen to that, today; instead I played her cover of the old Clara Ward song “How I got Over” and indeed, “my soul look[s] back and wonder[s] how I got over” ; followed by Climbing Higher Mountains, “I'm climbing higher mountains trying to get home”... Amen. The road does “get a little rocky”...
When i run into old friends, whom I’ve come up with, or have known for decades, or longer, we marvel that we have made it thus far, through everything, when so many of our loved ones didn’t, and haven't. [Tommy Miller, then Kenny Bill & I were discussing that just recently] Never in my life did I think I would live this long; especially when so many of my closest friends, from the 60s onward, didn’t. The recent and no so recent deaths of so many of my musical brothers has really hit me. I mourn not only them, but their spirit, their soul, which shone through their music. I am blessed to have been their friend, and to have worked with them. Lord knows I did enough in my past life, to kill anybody. I was obviously given not only good genes and a strong constitution, but some sort of a purpose to still be here. I often question that purpose… but as I wrote in “Living the Blues”, “I just keep on going, that’s all i know how to do…”
After writing about 3 verses, and taking a break [so i can come back and re-read what i wrote, edit or leave it, and continue whenever] I have attacked this day. I began to ‘attack’ this house, with a vengeance. I put on my ‘abdominal wraps’ and got to work. I felt energized and compelled to do it. I’m ‘on break’ at the moment, but needed one. I ordered a portable air conditioner online,
Because I’ve learned trying to get anyone to do anything is next to impossible. My friend Tommy’s cousin works on AC units, so I’ll have him come and look at all. But I figure, i can always use the portable; especially on the front porch of the family home; or in the ‘storage room’, which I am going to eventually turn into a dark room.
It hit me last night, as I sat here going through hundreds of ‘unlabelled’ CDs and cassettes, while trying to find the ‘software programs’ for a few things that had just ceased functioning, as they had done. I also discovered a week or so ago, that some of the boxes stacked hither and yon were FULL of cassettes of my original music; i thought i’d put them in storage, but no; so I take it they survived the winter in this house with no heat, while I was in Switzerland. In opening some of the other boxes, they were filled with my negatives, slides, from time immemorial, from all my travels, etc; even OLD family negatives; and a few boxes of photos; also binders with photo files inside, as well as a plastic container of photos on cds, from when I’d had negatives [C42 process] developed at wally world or wherever; i would always have them scan them, cut and sleeve them, and put them on a disc. But here are alllll the many Black & white negatives I developed myself; many have been scanned and many have not been. I have all my “artworks on paper” in big plastic tubs, since, also while i was gone in winter, mice got in and started eating it!
I finally decided to take action, starting last night, to put whatever work needed to be digitized or re-digitized- [be it k7 tapes, negatives, vhs videos etc.] - to a space where they are easily available. Areas dedicated to function for each type work. In seeing all the negatives and such, i was freaked out- thinking, I have to scan them all- even if I have scanned them in the past- because I know better how to do it than I did in the 90s. AND with each scan session save them to folders, then archived, and eventually books from the best.
When adding lyrics to my posts of youtube videos today, I began ‘searches’ for certain lyrics, which I couldn’t find, but when i did a search of “lyri” [because I sometimes name folders lyrics, or lyrix] thousands of lyrics were discovered, and that was only from ONE small hard drive. I shudder to think what all is on the 3 messed up hard drives, but I know all the old family photos are, as are old and new music art photos lyrics, etc. I may have to do a ‘go fund me’ since each hard drive starts, lowest base price @ $500. Last time, when Babs [oh, my baby] nudged the HD off my chaise longue, the Data Recovery company charged me 1600$ for ONE, then i happened to fry that backup [it’s one of the 3 HDs] - so if the people I use this time, say “oh it’s gonna be more than we thought” and ask that much, I cannot afford it; but, i cannot afford to lose that work. I lost enough when the damned thugs stole both my laptops with all my works on them in 2012. SO… [not to go there, again] in finding so many lyrics, I decided I have to do a book of lyrics from all cds released, starting with the early solo stuff, to now. So, when I get up again, inna minnit, I am going to get back to organizing that idea; bring it all to fruition. I may eventually do all the lyric scanning in the other house- because i have trunks full of writings: diaries and journals, poetry, lyrics, rants, even drawings and ink drawings, collages- ALL on paper- IN the other house… especially if I get air in there! Lol. that porch can be like an oven. I call those trunks my ‘coffin’[s] because [almost] my whole ‘body of work’ is in them. I want to digitize it all, then put the originals in climate controlled storage; the digitized end products into safety deposit boxes. My work IS my life’s work, and my main earthly treasure.
I’ve ranted for over an hour. But what work I did was tiring; but I gotta get back at it. i want this nightmare over with. Ever since I left New Orleans [the last time] in 1992 everything was in storage, until I took control of the family house and eventually stored my stuff there; then when i came to look after my Mama, I dragged a lot up in here. But due to the unpredictable heat, cold, humidity and damp, and then thieves, I moved the majority of everything into storage… again.
Because I used to be constantly shooting photos [film] my mama asked “what are you ever gonna do with all them pictures?” good question. But i have that question of all my works. At least beginning to arrange and organize and digitize, is a good start. On that note, since I haven’t eaten today, I’ll go eat a banana, make a fresh pot of coffee and continue til i can’t.
“Thanks for sharing…”
[C]2018 DOUG DUFFEY
