the days seem to be flying by and i seem to be getting nothing done. soon i will be leaving for europe and have a gazillion projects that HAVE to be done before i DO leave. granted, i have done some, but not nearly enough. there is so much to do that it boggles my mind [which isn't hard to do] and pretty much overwhelms me; therefore i'm like a deer in the headlights 1/2 the time. but the major factor is that it is just too damned hot to do anything that deals with 'outside'. jammering? maybe, but it IS brutal. too brutal for me. if it were cooler i would get a hell of a lot more done.
but even the 'cleaning up' & 'picking up' indoor manic thing seems to have waned. too bad there's not a LITE version of 'hoarders/buried alive'- i might qualify for that. maybe it's tropical depression, on top of clinical depression.
whatever... i am sick of all of it. work, like Jesus said of the poor, will always be with us. amen
for some reason my sleeping patterns have lately become more like jet lag patterns- so maybe i am/my body clock is subconsciously anticipating Europe. or it could be the early awakenings i've suffered for a few days [something/someone waking me daily at 7AM!] like 4 in a row... so today i didn't even crawl out until 2- had coffee, sketched, yakked with my cousin on the phone, ate my oats & dried cranberries soaked in rice dream- and am NOW trying to prepare myself to deal with watering [which i MUST do] which means dousing myself with DEEP WOODS OFF before going out; then sweating like a field hand while out, till my clothes are soaking wet. [i hate that] then coming in showering& hibernating. i have not left the house for weeks, except to do what i absolutely had to.
for some reason my sleeping patterns have lately become more like jet lag patterns- so maybe i am/my body clock is subconsciously anticipating Europe. or it could be the early awakenings i've suffered for a few days [something/someone waking me daily at 7AM!] like 4 in a row... so today i didn't even crawl out until 2- had coffee, sketched, yakked with my cousin on the phone, ate my oats & dried cranberries soaked in rice dream- and am NOW trying to prepare myself to deal with watering [which i MUST do] which means dousing myself with DEEP WOODS OFF before going out; then sweating like a field hand while out, till my clothes are soaking wet. [i hate that] then coming in showering& hibernating. i have not left the house for weeks, except to do what i absolutely had to.
so... i've been waking and doodling on my phone, gtablet or laptop, w/morning coffee [instead of spending hours on Facebook= doing nothing] which entertains me, and keeps me in the cooler indoors- and, i DO accomplish something= art; the sketches also give me ideas of what i will do with the canvases i bought, when i do REAL TIME art, while in Europe. I'm thinking ink and oil sticks on canvas- maybe even use my caran d'ache crayons, and some pastels- and or even watercolors- just big mixed media things. and/or i blog until dusk before going out. i wish i could just be put in a medical coma for the length of summer.
I've also been thinking a lot about music. the older i get the lower my tolerance for pop music and pop culture. for me, music, needs to come from a deeper place; a more spiritual place. i think the majority of my past solo work comes from there; and i am happy with the 'new' traditional cd [covers of OLD blues, jazz, gospel and folk songs] depressing as it may be [lol]- and a lot of the improvised solo piano tracks [60 done in switzerland- 30 done here, recorded in the past few years] which i have not even revisited, much less, edited and chosen to either add lyrics to, [if need be] or for release; i like them because they are like my sketches, totally unplanned and spontaneous'; and sometimes, without any formal structure. sometimes, i just dont want to hear words... or drums! [no offense to all my drummer friends]-
with the band., we do a lot of jamming during songs; the more we play together the more comfortable and instinctual it is. we also have a lot of live recordings that need to be revisited and edited and released. the energy of live performances [even if it is live in the studio- i.e. like old jazz & blues records- which is how i record all cds now] is always preferable to me to sterile tracked & canned recordings. its about the inter play, the communication, between musicians, which is what, to me, playing music together is about; "going where no man has gone before..."
so off to europe for musical and artistic adventures, soon... i'm looking forward to it. 2011 has thus far has been a very hard one. the hardest of my life. i need a temporary change of scene and some distance; which might give me the strength to come back and start over with new energy.
with the band., we do a lot of jamming during songs; the more we play together the more comfortable and instinctual it is. we also have a lot of live recordings that need to be revisited and edited and released. the energy of live performances [even if it is live in the studio- i.e. like old jazz & blues records- which is how i record all cds now] is always preferable to me to sterile tracked & canned recordings. its about the inter play, the communication, between musicians, which is what, to me, playing music together is about; "going where no man has gone before..."
so off to europe for musical and artistic adventures, soon... i'm looking forward to it. 2011 has thus far has been a very hard one. the hardest of my life. i need a temporary change of scene and some distance; which might give me the strength to come back and start over with new energy.
[C]2011 DOUG DUFFEY
