LE JARDIN

today, when i woke it was so cool and breezy that i decided to work outside... after my morning rituals. it was a good choice. i tend to stay locked inside too much of the time; especially when it starts warming up; there will be plenty of 'inside time' once summer starts. i plan to stay in and edit recordings, for more cds, and do more art/photo projects- and possibly books- during the heat. 

i finished the "Louisiana Americana" book last night, BUT saw that for the same price as for 30 pages i could have 40- so, have decided to add more photos that were not in the show, but WILL be in the book, and possibly in the show, later. 

had an email that my new improvisational meditative cd "la meditation etheree- 1" [a meditation in 7 movements] is due online tomorrow [may 10] globally for digital download at most online outlets: amazon, itunes, etc etc etc 

once outdoors, i piddled around with flower beds, moving things around on the patio and carport- TRYING to clean up. i did not get the good housekeeping gene, obviously. i am STILL sifting, sorting, & storing inside- but today said, "the hell with it" and spent the day in the great outdoors. i planted some things in  the front flower bed that i will probably eventually move/separate: antirrhinums from new orleans; hosta from a planter on my porch; 7 apostles, which i had forgotten i potted about 10 of, from one in my yard. cannot believe the cold didn't kill them all. the elephant ears at my back porch/patio are doing so well IN a big terra cotta pot that i am afraid to move them. i did layer some roses and oleanders to hopefully move in the fall. plan to look around and layer everything layer-able.

seeing that more of my gardenias, in small bottles in the kitchen window had roots, i went and took more cuttings. the trick, i have found is to change the water every week. they need oxygen.

I didn't think i would be making a garden this year- but, seeing that my parsley & some of my lettuce was still alive [after Mr. B accidentally weed ate it all] i transplanted it all to one row, then mowed down the whole garden spot. i used the mulch [pine straw] from last years garden, and mulched the lettuce- then seeing the plot was fairly clean, put the blade on the lowest notch and mowed again. Disco! clean as a whistle. 

SO i decided to plant some seed i had. i am and always have been a seed saver [i shouldn't say that, Monsanto will be knocking at my door] always collect grandma's 4 o'clock seed every year; my herb and flower seeds; even cantaloup and tomato seed from 'real' ones, which usually always come up. planted a bunch of sunflowers seed from the plants i had last year. unfortunately they are not the mammoth- and i don't know what i did with it- it was huge.

since my tiller is broken, i went 'old school' [truly GREEN] and used a shovel to dig the rows, a hoe to chop up the dirt, and a hand trowel to make the trench and drop the seeds in; and for watering, my grandmother's old kettle, which has been outside for 20 years. amazingly it hasn't rusted rust or got any holes. its perfect for watering, when planting. they don't make things like they used to. voila! le jardin:   

L to R: 1 row of herbs & lettuce; 1 row of basil; 1 row of peppers

the fig tree is abundant this year

a transplanted grape vine @ the foot of the cross made from mama's lawnmower blades & metal garden stake; a little climbing rose is also there

 

my own personal Walden

a thicket of plum trees which volunteered from one tree my father gave me years ago; i've been moving them to make a long row

L to R: 1 row of herbs & lettuce; 1 row of basil; 1 row of peppers- redux

yet another generation from my grandma's nandina [aka heavenly or sacred bamboo]

what a day! i am exhausted but feel the contentment of knowing i got some things accomplished. even had dinner on the patio and worked on some old oriental type wind chimes- have a bucket full of others that need some TLC and repairs. but, when the mosquitoes started gnawing my ankles i decided to call it a night. now for shower, snacks, and PBS. "after all, tomorrow is another day"- scarlett o'hara

[C]2012 DOUG DUFFEY

so it begins...

"so it begins..." [linda hunt, in 'the year of living dangerously'] the oncoming hell of summer. just when i am almost, like a fledgling bird, feeling secure enough to test my wings, to leave the nest, 

"so it begins..."

that i slowly resurface and re-enter the world; the world i have avoided for over a year; not the one i had known; but a new version of the old one. a remix. a remake. a new production. or the director's cut.

i feel like an alien, taking baby steps, into the unknown. in suspended animation. invisible but sensed sign posts point ways to various paths; paths i am not sure i want to go down. new directions. different routes. sometimes i stand at the crossroads, frozen; don't want to go further; unlike robert johnson, i am not making any deals, i have enough demons; i'm thinking, maybe, "better the devil you know, than the one you don't."

[C]2012 DOUG DUFFEY

HAPPY EARTH DAY- DAYS LATER

HAPPY EARTH DAY! after spacing out for hours- doing the morning ritual- i finally forced myself outside. my intention was to clean up under the carport and out on the patio; but, of course i ended up making more of a made more of a mess than i already had. 

i began doing various earthy projects: 

1. replanted the front flower bed @ mamas house with  transplants from my house: hosta, antirrhinum [from steve & larry in new orleans], native louisiana iris, grandmother's 4 o'clocks. 

2. hung all the wind chimes 50 times until i got them right- some were not getting this amazing wind that has been blowing all day. i hung them along the edge of the carport; opposite the ones Raymond made for me. 

 3.repaired some of the old ones, with bits and pieces from various broken ones. i discovered the perfect thing to do with the clear cds that come when you buy a spindle pack: since some of the chimes had lost the flap that the wind catches to move them, i tied them on. disco! it worked. not only that , but they spin in the wind, and cast light circle, which dance across the patio. that should entertain the cats.

APRIL 24, 2012

[C]2012 DOUG DUFFEY

DOWNTOWN MONROE- DELTA FEST- 4.28.2012

 

i had every intention of leaving the house early and going to the civic center/delta fest and chilling/visiting/w folks before my set with the NELA ALL STARS; but as we all know, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. i realized, after stressing to get drag & cds together, that i was out of my morning thyroid medicine- and, not wanting to stroke out onstage, called wally world in wm and asked them to refill. being saturday they broke for lunch at 1.30-2.30 and this was about the time i was ready to leave the house- so i dressed in my show duds, like an idiot [didnt want to carry excess stuff & change there] and drove to wm. i managed to get there around 3 and for once, everything was ready. shock and awe. [that almost stroked me out!]

going in and out i realized that it was a bit warm for me to be outside in all black suit & shirt etc. i had some other chores to do, errands to run, all of them "drive through"- so decided to do them while out, from my car, in which i had the AC on stun! i realized i had plenty of time before 'check in' and was NOT going to be outside any more than i had to be. 

i decided to drive around old downtown, snapping photos with my phone, from the car, as is my wont; my "drive by shooting" method/series. when the weather heats up, i just roll down the window and shoot, even if i have to make the block, or go in opposite directions- rather than get OUT! 

DESPITE THE FACT that i have shot so much of the stuff over and over with various cameras, for 100 years, i always find something new, or a new perspective.there are so many pockets of stuff here that are incredible; right before our eyes, that we totally don't see. i think before i start my "Louisiana photo safari" i might start right here; in my own home town. 


some shots of the old down town cemetery & remaining down town:

i have always wanted this building since i was a child!

old cotton warehouse

old cotton warehouse

some shots & blurbs from Delta Fest:

For the Roses

i woke, but didn't want to get out of bed, this morning, because it was COLD! But it was cold and SUNNY, so i poked my nose out the door & thought "hmmm might be a good day to mow"- but... the ground is like quicksand [quickmud?] since it has rained off and on all week- or maybe forever? so i put on the coffee, sat down to my journal & smokes and let the day drift into- or past- my life. 

after, my 'morning rituals', i began working in the house yet again. i had stopped during the preparation for my photo exhibit and concert & didnt pick up where i'd left off. it takes weeks to choose the photos, get them printed, get all the materials needed for framing, have them framed, get them to the venue, then get the show hung just right- so all of what 'house' work i had begun... stopped. i was like Ms Havisham [if i repeat that reference its because i have watched it every time it comes on PBS this month] everything left exactly as it was... not because i was left waiting at the altar, but because ART, my Mistress/Master, needed FULL attention. it was a blessing in that it [all the preparation] was during and leading up to the 1st anniversary of my mother's death [April 14]- and kept me busy-occupied- and not dwelling on it every minute; possibbly every other minute. the concert & show were on that day; and i did my very best in memory of/in honor of her.

stage- at sound check- rayville arts center

 i have been and am in the endless process of what i call "sifting" - sorting through everything in this house, boxing labeling storing- both mama's and my things; which has gone on for a very long and very hard year. everyone deals/copes with loss and grief in their own way- and our family- and i- has and have- suffered FAR too many losses. it has been a nightmare year. i have lost not only my parents and family members, but many VERY close, and close friends, within a year & half; i calculate 12 losses, altogether! I've felt, and feel, gutted. the worst year of my life. so... i have been 'isolating' for a year, have been a hermit [even more so than usual] with the exception of my time in switzerland this year, and what shows i have played here statewide. in switzerland i had my love, my OLD antique upright acoustic Burger & Jacobi piano, from the 1800s-and my vintage kawai 1 synth  and Mac in the garage/studio- 

burger & jacobi- mon amour

vintage: mac g4 & kawai k1 synth

so, daily  i dealt with and coped with and processed my emotions, thoughts, multitude of feelings through music; and a gazillion recording sessions; both acoustic and synthetic. IT was my therapy, my salvation; it kept my mind occupied, [actually UN-occupied, since everything was free form improvisation- i just went where the Spirit led me] and was a deep and spiritual healing process; it was the best way for me to cope with everything at the time; but then, it always is.

since i have been home... i've not done much music therapy. too many other irons in the fire ["back to life, back to reality"] & have had a few gigs in between the endless sifting. i haven't even set up my keyboard; but sometimes will run to my laptop and do some loop based tracks in Acid, Rebirth, Bram Bros Taureg- OR on my phone, recording direct into my laptop/Acid. It's all absolutely experimental instrumental music- and a total escape for me. it blots out everything else; as do all my creative endeavors when i am IN them.
My acoustic spinet which i learned to play on, is so out of tune, i don't use it. pity. i have had it since i was 12, and studying classical piano. it might make for some very interesting recordings; especially since it is in my house [our family home] which was my grandparents, then my parents: where i lived the 1st five years of my life. there could be some serious cosmic and spiritual connections in recording on it there... reverb and delay cover a multitude of sins [on out of tune pianos] - have Tascam DR-1 will travel... next door...

i cannot do creative/spiritual work in clutter and chaos. it stifles and paralyzes me. it makes me crazy. since i have been home, i have been TRYING to create order so i CAN work! Wanting everything to have a place, be put in its place [and for me to know where that place is]- get rid of clutter so i can work, and so it is also easier to clean. but it is overwhelming [its also very emotional]- with so much of my mother's things and mine, that at times i just shut down, and cant go any further; cant do anything more. going through the lifetime of possessions collected by someone you love is almost impossible; there is just so much you cannot let go of, or get rid of. it's too personal. too emotional.
we both had a lot of "stuff" - 'we' still do. i always keep things because i think i can use them for art... or use them later for something... but, i am also beginning to see that "less is more" - now if i could just have someone go through all my clothes and get rid of them...

BUT on the overwhelming days, when i am hobbled, i will sit and write in my journal, drinking endless pots of coffee, smoking endless cigarettes; thinking and writing about everything from past to present; questioning everything from existence to death; the meaning of everything and nothing; why we're here, for what purpose are we here, and how did we get here, where do we go?... ad infinitum.  [but i have been doing that since youth; ever since i could think and process]- that in itself is not a waste of time; it's cathartic. "i do what i can, when i can" is my new mantra, as is "i will not do anything i don't want to do"- and knowing where my comfort zone is and staying within it is my plan of action

i am slowly getting better, thanks to 2 new therapists and changes in my meds. i am absolutely not ashamed to say that. i was beyond miserable, drowning in depression, and had to do something about it; so i did. i could have done nothing and stayed in the black hole, in the abyss; or try to find my way out, and back into the light. i chose the latter. i know my parents/family/friends would not want me to suffer as i have done; nor do i. when asked by my therapist when i was happiest, i truthfully said "only when i am creating"...thus my need for order, asap, so i can get back to creating, healing, asap.

post morning ritual, i was semi multi-tasking [ADD mixed w/OCD?] obsessing, trying to clean and 'pick up' organize and do this and that, in hopes of getting things finished, or closer to finished; dealing with drudgery, which i hate. passing a window, seeing the sunlight, flowers and the breeze moving the plants and trees, reality FINALLY set in and SAID, "you do NOT have to do this" - "you do not have to do anything!" SO, i said to hell with it, and went out and into the sunshine, and immediately felt the weight drop. i am learning to tell my mind to "SHUT UP!"

My friend since the mid 60s and former band mate Raymond Battillo came and visited the other night; he brought me some hand made & hand painted bamboo & oyster shell wind chimes; bamboo which he had found and cut himself. i love them; they look very aboriginal [the painting] i had hung them yesterday, just under the eave of the carport, so the elements wouldn't ruin them.  

hand made/hand painted bamboo & oyster shell wind chimes by raymond battillo

seeing them today, i decided to get most of Mama's off the dead limb of the tree where they have all hung [that is rather strange, that only that limb is dead] for years - and move them. some had gotten tangled and i stored them under the carport last year to untangle- but i didnt have the nerves; some are in disrepair & need mending. some are in a tree by the patio, but I've decided to also hang most of them under the eaves of the house to preserve them, and so as to hear a symphony of wind chimes, when they chime. so, i got the ladder & began getting some of them, and hanging them, then- as usual- other ideas popped into my brain.

i had noticed when at Mama's desk [which i am using as my 'hand' writing desk: i,e, my journal, cards, letters, lists etc] looking out the bedroom window, that the wisteria and one of the rose bushes had runners so long that they were about to climb the tree.

vignette @ writing desk

so, i went out and pulled all those rose limbs/runners, after cutting off the dead wood, and pushed them down into a big concrete pot/planter thing we have, covered them with potting soil- layering them- so they will make more rose bushes. then i decided to check on all the other plants around the yards which i had layered last year. 

i put on my rubber boots and waded through the yard. last year 1 of the 2 fremaining apple trees made one apple; the other apple tree had died. i planted the 1 seed from the one apple in the hole where the old tree died- but nada. i also layered a limb from the healthy tree: had dug a small trench and pulled a limb down, scarified it, covered it with dirt and put a concrete block on it- and sure enough- today, when i looked- it had rooted. i was ecstatic. it will go where the old one was; and i will continue the process till i have an orchard; same thing with fig trees, azaleas, oleander, roses, anything that can be layered! i'll transplant them in fall.

this time last year i was making and planting gardens- [many thanks to sarah, ralph & jan] but during the summer the bigger, lower garden, fried- the upper* smaller scattered shade garden did great. lesson 
learned.

lower garden 2011- cross & sunflowers

i cant deal with working two, this year, so i'll probably just have one kitchen garden* and possibly plant flowers where the big one was; or melons; or anything that does not need a ton of care. the native American corn, beans and squash planting  comes to mind... but so do the coons and possums... as daddy said "plant enough for yourself AND them"

the roses. the roses. my mother had a green thumb- she could stick anything in the ground and it would grow. and she did. and it did. her old  roses are beautiful and seem to have always flourished in this crawfish clay of a yard. 

crawfish castle

she would always cut them back; but i plan to cut them back, ONLY to cut off the dead wood, and take cuttings, and stick them in the ground all over the acreage! with or without jars [see 'jar method' below] - today the old trellis Mama had tied together for years came apart when i was snipping off dead branches. i will either try to put it back together, and back where it was, or use it in a piece of artwork. 

old time roses on a trellis mama had rigged & strung together

one of the tiny white rose buds on a bush in the front yard

last year i wanted to make a memorial rose garden, along the front of the patio, for mama. i did the jar method which i have done for decades and always had good results; almost all the roses in my yard were started from cuttings. but, last year, trying to grow about 30 cuttings, only one rose actually grew [but is doing great], so i am about to try it again, before it gets hot. i want to layer and propagate from cuttings as many as i can, from all the varieties on the property, and the marsala sister's heirloom rose.
i need to be outside soaking up the sunshine and communing with nature. it does my soul good. i know how it nourished me last year, and i still need that nourishment; I've been inside too much and for too long. i need that contact with nature; with the universe; with the Creator. i never feel as connected to the earth, to home, to my roots, to sense of self, or to God as when i have my hands in the dirt... when i am 'creating'
my doctor told me i need exercise and there is no better exercise than lawn & garden work, gardening and landscaping, all of which needs to be done desperately before summer. i did not get the house keeping or yard man gene, which both my parents had in abundance. they worked like field hands, even on the hottest of summer days, from daylight till dark, even into their 90s.
if the good Lord's willing and the creek don't rise [or flood]- i.e. if it doesnt rain, after my morning ritual [i'm going to go load the coffee pot NOW] i'll put on my rubber boots and wade through the mud again, all around the property, and further inspect various plants i layered last fall, and transplant them. then, with clippers in hand, i will go for the roses.
now, it's time to crawl in bed with my girls, Domina & Barbra- my furry alarm clocks- they wake me at dawn, or before, to be 'cast out'-then i go back to bed. i just hope the phone doesn't ring before 1PM. i'll give the yard time to dry...

domina and barbra-deux femmes fatale

[C]2012 DOUG DUFFEY

4 LANES OPEN

LA HWY 15 SOUTH [C] DOUG DUFFEY

sunday, april 15, 2012

i woke & wrote in my journal a while ; w/the obligatory coffee & chicory, & Samson cigarettes fueling my thoughts. writing in my journal is a habit i started in the early 1970s and have continued. it's a ritual which helps me process my thoughts; helps me to ease into the day; calms me; and like my work, is therapeutic. i woke thinking about and writing about TIME. Thinking about TIME is something i do a lot; something i have been contemplating seriously all year long ... along with the meaning of life, and a few other things

i saw on the news last night that the 165 "4 lane" from the Arkansas border [above and through Bastrop] to Lake Charles is now open- they said it would help "economic development"- but i fear it will kill off whatever struggling towns/villages fall by the wayside, are by-passed, and/or are bulldozed to make room- and there are 11 such projects proposed- or in the works- there go the neighborhoods [Remember Riverton!]

they also discussed how it would now take 4 hours instead of 6 to GET from Bonita to Lake Charles. what they don't say is that you have to slow down to a snail's pace going through every small town, from here to Alexandria [and probably from the arkansas border to monroe]. if speed was the purpose of these new 4 lanes, they should have added bridges/overpasses over, or by passed, the towns completely. i thought, whats the point? the old roads were good enough; and a hell of a lot more scenic.

i have had my mishaps with the I-49! Coming back from New Orleans, because there were NO signs for 165N or Monroe [in Alexandria] my mama and i ended up 1/2 way to Natchitoches before i chose to 'hang a right' and head east [said the compass thingie on my rear view mirror] to Boyce[?]. we drove for what seemed like hours through Kisatchie Nat'l Forest in the pitch black night- finally stopping in Colfax to ask directions @ a convenience store. the woman working there had no idea how to get to 165/or Monroe- but luckily some cowboy heard me ask, and told me how to get to Pollock. 

years before i had gone to Alexandria [when they were building the NEW highway] to perform at GG Shinn's club there; and another time, when i was inducted into the Gumbo Brothers, there- and it took forever! not because of the old 2 lane highway but because they had torn every damned thing up between Monroe and there. 

AND driving to Eunice, recently; to perform a concert at LSUE, i took 49 south- had the cruise control on BUT had "to slow down to a snail's pace going through every small town." and again thought, what was the point? but in this frantic paced society we live in, everybody is just so busy being busy; everyone seems to be scurrying around like rats in mazes; hamsters on treadmills; dogs chasing their tails, driving "like a bat out of hell" ... and for what? even driving the speed limit, people were flying past me @ 80 or 90 MPH like the hounds of hell were on their tails.

the next morning, after the concert: i had asked for a wake up call that didn't come. so i WOKE and checked out of my hotel LATE. At the front desk, i filled my travel mug with some GOOD south Louisiana coffee, and asked the girl at the desk how to get to the old road north. i did not feel like rushing anywhere. so, coming home, i decided i was boycotting 49 and all interstates from now on [unless i just absolutely HAVE to get somewhere immediately]- and was really glad i did. i put in 2 of my new unfinished synth- meditiation/spiritual- cds- to mentally critique- and "set the controls for the heart of the" state...

i decided to take the old highways, the ones we used to take way back in the day, in the 60s, when i would go to play- and hang- in Church Point- passing through the small towns like Turkey Creek, Mamou, Ville Platte- etc. i remembered how, back in the day, we'd stop in some of those towns to get fresh Boudin and beer, then drive on. BUT, what i thought were the old roads we used to take, were not the original old roads as i'd remembered them; they almost all by-passed the towns; or had loops around the towns built. when we used to go to church point we took 167, so i didn't go through ville platte this trip- but certainly will if and when i head back down south on photo safari... and i will!

you never see ANYTHING of the people, the culture, the heritage, when you drive the interstate- all you see is gas stations and fast food alleys, malls and crap- the same stuff you see anywhere in America- w/different scenery in the distance.  i wanted to see Louisiana up close and more personally!

so i got on Hwy 13, cranked up all my 'dreamscape' ethereal synth improvisations, and drove through, huge blue skies filled with big cotton boll clouds, past crawfish/rice fields, through all the beauty and the funk, drinking in all the imagery of the real Louisiana... driving slowly through the soul of the state...

Hwy 13 eventually connected to 167 N. Instead of getting on I-49, i stayed on 167 on to Meeker, and on up through Alexandria and Pineville. i was amazed at the beauty of both. Alexandria? i never even knew there WAS an old down town on the river; all i had ever seen was a 'risk your life' traffic circle [kreisverkehr] we used to go around, to avoid Alexandria and go south. Seeing all the old red brick buildings and some incredible mansions on hills, and dogwoods and azaleas in bloom; i was astonished... and told myself "i am gonna come back here and spend some time looking around" [meaning photograph] All i had remembered of Pineville was driving 165 S around a bend where the state mental institution was on the left- a big red brick building, as i recalled; but i must have missed it coming back. i was on 167 north- got off in Ball and onto the dreaded I-49 and northward homeward, where everyone was racing like maniacs to get 'where'? to do what?

i was too kaput [due to various factors] to stop and make any photos coming home; although, i had taken REAL cameras with me and had planned, after Eunice, to drive around the region, and make photos; but the spirit was not upon me. 

Many years ago i read BLUE HIGHWAYS by William Least Heat-Moon and loved it; always wishing i could do basically the same thing he did: just get in a vehicle and take off, with my journals, cameras, recording equipment, etc. [now it would be the digital update of all those, plus laptops & cell phones etc] of course, it was a less expensive and gentler era then, when he did his travels; life in America was safer; not as dangerous as it is now. old daddy bush did not make it "a kinder and gentler nation." [nor did his idiot spawn] i've never been one for 'camping' out-or being out in nature for too long - [my idea of camping is a 5 star hotel with 24 hour room service and a big tub]- i certainly would not be sleeping in a van parked somewhere anywhere [unless i had to] for fear of being mugged or worse.

BUT i have been nursing an idea/desire for years, and think it is time for it to come to fruition: to load up my gear in and get in my car and leisurely drive around the state making photographs; capturing whats soon to be gone. spending whole days doing so until i am tired; then, sleep/eat in nice but affordable motels/cafes, repeating the process, ad infinitum, possibly "camping out" in one town for a few days at a time, as a base camp, and do it until i have either covered the whole state OR am ready to come home. with the onslaught of 11 new 'corridors', or them already in "progress", i need to get busy ASAP.  

i recall once seeing a button or a tee shirt that said "DO NOT POSTPONE JOY" and that seems to be what i have been doing for too long [for legitimate reasons this year]- concerning this idea. but, if i have learned/know anything it is that life is short, extremely fragile, unpredictable, passes too quickly, and is not guaranteed. this is the real performance; not the dress rehearsal. the future is now. carpe diem!

maybe i'll see you on the blue highways...

[C]2012 DOUG DUFFEY

ROARS OF MOWERS, etc

everyone is busy busy busy. busy little spring bees. the roars of mowers surround me on a daily basis, like enormous bumble bees, locusts, wasps, all of the above.

[C]2012 DOUG DUFFEY